Thanks for the Memories.....

The holiday season seems to conjure up memories from the past more than any other time of year.

This can be a good thing, especially if you are recalling some of the fun times as a kid.

In actuality, remembering is even better than going back to being a kid. You have the adult wisdom to navigate life and as time passes a lot of the looking back brings laughter. Somehow you recall those really great moments and the memories that made you sad seem to fade.

Such as with this season for me.....

Three recent activities took me back to some fun times.

The first is always the selection of the tree.

Growing up in San Francisco we never had the opportunity to cut our own tree. We would drive up to a lot on busy 19th Avenue and support a tree lot where my father knew the proprietor. As a little girl I annually repeated the scenario of begging for a pink flocked tree. We never did get one. And now that I know what a mess flocking creates, it's a wonder why my parents would ever even allow a white flocked one in the house.

The second one was Sat. out with George for a downtown viewing of the Pioneer Courthouse Square tree - it's as close as we get to the Rockefeller tree in NYC.

We stopped in at the Benson Hotel for a drink and snack. Playing was a three-piece jazz ensemble. One of the songs they played was "Mack The Knife." That was a favorite tune of my Dad's. It was one where my Dad would whisk my Mom around the dance floor. They were smooth as butta' on the floor. If I closed my eyes I could still see them sweeping the dance floor.

It was such a favorite tune, we played it as a recessional at my Dad's funeral.

The third just happened today. While out Christmas shopping I saw a chunk of divinity fudge in a store. I am not big on sweets, but this one called to me. Without an ounce of hesitation, I purchased (and ate) it.

As a little girl, I will never forget the year Dad decided we would make fudge together - just he and I. He chose to make one of the most difficult ones to perfect - Divinity.

It wasn't as good as Dad's because it wasn't made by the two of us.

It did bring up the memory of how much my Dad did for me when my Mom was not well. With a bad heart, she spent some time in the hospital when I was very small. With all he had going on with his job as an accountant, he was also handyman, car mechanic, church volunteer and a good neighbor to many, he made time for me.

I liked that. But I probably appreciate it now more than ever.

Thanks, Dad.....

Passage

I was taking my daily walk to the park today with Otto.

"Yep," I said to myself, "there is a great change enveloping us."

As I watched a tire swing sway from the motion of child, now absent from play, I thought to myself, "How different things are here from when summer was in full swing."

Then the park was bustling with children on play equipment, gardeners in the community garden, children on the field playing games, teenagers hanging out in groups, picnics on the grass. There were a lot of neighborly conversations going on.

As summer turns to Fall, the leaves are those lovely shades of orange, but now falling to the ground. The note on the garden states it is time to tend to your plot and close it down for the season. There are fewer dogs, no picnics.

It is pretty still at 5 p.m.

There is some solace in the change of the season. But it definitely felt it was time to say goodbye to summer days and prepare for sweaters and jeans, soups, stews and squash..... and the holidays.

Bittersweet but ready to embrace it.

I guess change has always been difficult for me or maybe this indicates I just had a really good summer.

Dogs - like humans?

I ordered an item from a canine company a few weeks ago.

Okay, it was a plaque spray from a t.v. commercial. I admit it.

It arrived two days ago. Two bottles for the price of one with two toys.
The toys were stuff less animals. Otto seems to like those. He has been known to drag them over for a game of tug of war in the late afternoon.

This stuff less squirrel that I gave him seems to be special, though.

Today was a rainy day - a day to finish a book I started this week. So after work, I put on the classical Pandora station, reclined and read while Otto sat in his bed near the fire. Before long Otto dragged out his squirrel and began chewing on it in an odd way. He would nibble on the external fur, like a beaver shaving wood from a log, like a gorilla or baboon, picking nits off their babies. He did this for at least a half hour.

I thought to myself, "This seems motherly." But perhaps it is just the canines way of showing some compassion.

After reading the National Geographic article on the elephant orphanage and the beauty of those animals, I have little doubt that animals are capable of so much more than we give them credit for.

I may be reading more into the whole thing. But I found it intriguing and really quite sweet.

One Good Deed Brings On Another

The old adage proved true again this week.

I live in a neighborhood built in the 1920's, where old homes marry newly crafted gardens with less lawn.

It is where older homes have given way to duplexes. It brings in a very diverse community where, in my thinking, anyone would be welcomed.

It's a walking neighborhood - three blocks to the bus stop, two blocks to the grocery store, three blocks from the post office, restaurants and shops.

On my daily route walking the dog, I had noticed last summer that an old home converted to a small apartment building had been undergoing a lovely face lift. The landlord hired a painting company that did a fine job.

Not long after that, a retaining wall was built that neatly afforded room for garbage and recycle bins.

This Fall some of the renters planted wildflowers in the parking strip.

Today one of the residents put out a beautiful planter and was doing more planting in the courtyard of the building.

It has been completely transformed.

Paying it forward...one good deed gives birth to another.

Vitamin C

Vitamins have been getting some bad press as of late. I have wondered whether or not the big drug companies have something to do with that. Nonetheless, here's one for the "other" side.

Perhaps instead of carrots, rabbits should be ingesting oranges to see better.
A surprising discovery by Oregon Health and Sciences University found that Vitamin C prolongs proper functioning of nerve cells in the eye.

In fact, cells in the retina need to be "bathed" in relatively high doses of Vitamin C to be able to function properly.

The study, published in the June 29, 2011 issue of The Journal of Neuroscience also suggests that Vitamin C plays a more important role throughout our brains than was previously thought.

This could eventually have implications for other diseases like glaucoma and epilepsy.

Be grateful - always.

This is a post I had in my drafts folder for awhile. I sort of dreaded pushing the "button." And you will see why. The day has come.

It was about two years ago when I took the photo to the right. I took part in the "Thank A Soldier" project.

It was a nationwide online military support project. At that time you could send a photo and a song to be placed on their website. It was heartwarming, to say the least, to see all of the gratitude from every corner of our country. There was an incredible outpouring of love for our American soldiers, who serve so selflessly.

It was the beginning of a journey to be supportive and to accept my son's enlistment into the Army. He was just graduating from basic training in Fort Benning, Georgia and transferring to Fort Bliss in El Paso, Texas.

This was the birth of allowing my mind go to the place I dreaded, his deployment to a war zone.

Since then he has married his sweetheart and they are happily stationed at Fort Lewis in Tacoma, WA. That's a gift, I thought, as we could see them more being only two hours away. I wanted to be able to see them as much as possible before the "inevitable."

The "inevitable" has come, as our soldier, now a Specialist, deploys.

Motherhood is often a shared journey. It is one where we share from infancy the developmental growth. It is one where, as they reach puberty, you hold on as they step aside from innocence;
where you try to loosen your grasp as they move away to college. As they marry, you step aside because you are now a mother-in-law. And he now has a wife.

But so many in the past months times I have questioned myself, "How do you let go of your son to go to war?"

But as much as we all support one another throughout motherhood, this now is a bit of an alone feeling. "Mama said there'll be days like this."

There are so very many people who don't know how to react. As much as I hate to say this, instead of attempting to say something supportive, they say something very stupid to a Mom of a soldier. I won't go into any detail.

But, you know, you're a Mom. You get up again. You stand tall. You stand proud. You stand strong - and with all of the love your heart has to hold. This is another time when it may overflow, you think to yourself.

On the other hand, there are many support groups for Mom's of soldiers. Those women have reached from all corners of the country to lend immediate support.

You have many conversations with yourself (many in the middle of the night). How will I navigate the year he is gone? How will my daughter-in-law survive this? Will he always have his buddies by his side? How will I be able to be the best support for his wife? How often will I see him on Skype? When will I get his address? Let me figure out how many packages I can send.......

I remember when we sat at the kitchen table and he announced to me that he was enlisting. I was visibly shaken. He stood up, came over to me, hugged me, comforted me and said, "Mom, you have been supportive of everything the three of us kids have done. I know this is a hard one, but I want you to try to accept this because this is what I want."

I want to call my Mom, I thought. I know she is a good person to listen. No, she's gone. I want to tell my Dad. I know he would be so proud. No, he's gone.

So I gather myself and think.....our soldier is a very smart young man, with a very sensible head on his shoulders. He has been awaiting deployment so that he can put his job skills to use - finally. He is very excited about going.

I am a personal trainer. I liken it to training to be on a team but always warming the bench.

I love my job. It might be like training for a job for two years but never being able to use what you have learned.

Frustrating with a capital "F."

I have run mentally through that enlisting scenario so many times over the past two and a half years.

I have comfort, I think to myself.

I have thought of my brother's (a Vietnam vet) words, "Be grateful that you had him home for two years."

My good friend, whose father served in three wars, told me, "Keep making memories." And I do that every time I see him.

I have friends who have served recently who have said how well-trained the soldiers are now and what a smart war it is now. That really helps.

My chest swells when many people react with, "You must be so proud of him."

By all appearances, my son is taking all of this preparedness for deployment in stride.

I suppose I have come a long way since that moment at the kitchen table.

I am getting pretty good about explaining what he will be doing. I try my best to put a positive spin on all of it.

Above my computer sits the simple "Serenity Prayer." And, boy, is it the truth. It's something I have learned over and over throughout my 50's decade - "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

Now it's late Fall, my favorite season of the year. The holidays are on their way. And it sure does shed some new light on all of them.

Be grateful - always. Sometimes it is hard in the face of adversity.

Above a photo of our sweet son and his wife (taken when he graduated from Basic Training) sits another quote, "Look at hardship as opportunity, rather than obstacle."

I need those reminders.

The star atop the tree this year is for you, my shining star.

A Celebration.....of two kinds

I am in the process of celebrating almost a year and a half of very consistent Yoga practice.

It has been a great integration into my fitness regimen and into the solace that we all seek in our often hurried lives.

I also enjoy those hours of someone teaching me, instead me being the teacher. It's good for everyone to be a student from time to time. It keeps us open to change and to being guided.

Too often we tend to be the organizer, the planner and the leader. Good to let that go. Be the humble learner instead of the guru.

So I mark this anniversary, this celebration, on my blog today.

Aside from my job as a fitness educator is my job of analyzing bodies in motion. It's a lot of fun and I never seem to tire of it. It's almost a pastime when I am in a public place.

So it was today, while waiting for Yoga class to begin, that I spent some time viewing the various body types and how they move around the gym.

Whether it be someone walking from machine to machine, using machine after machine or immersed in cardio I am intrigued with observing.

After 30 years in the fitness industry, I will say that what remains one of the more challenging ideologies to convince clients of is that we genetically are all built differently and are predisposed to certain postures, strengths and weaknesses. This is simply controlled by who we were born of.

It is not that we cannot combat some of them by strengthening and stretching. Oh, and not to mention nutrition. But to hold oneself up to some ideal of someone seen in a magazine or an elite athlete.....well, it is simply an injustice to oneself.

Today I saw, the extremely lean over 50 runner, who looked quite uncomfortable moving about the gym after removing himself from the treadmill. While lean, he looked very inflexible and had a stiff gait.

There was the woman with a bit higher BMI who was trying out her first Yoga class. She was flexible and seemed to have very good body awareness.

Then, using an arm curl machine, an over 70 gentleman, who had the appearance of a former football player, keeping up his strength work with great determination and intensity.

It is always my hope that people will aspire to be the best they can be, working within the genetic framework given to them - not aspire to be anything but themself.

You know, to celebrate oneself. Strive to be the best you can be. That's all you can ask for. that's all you can expect from yourself.

Make peace with that and it IS a cause for celebration.

The Art Of Play

I often think I have the very best job on earth.

I arrive at work ready to play everyday with some lovely individuals called "my clients."

Don't get me wrong, sometimes when the workout is scheduled for 5:30 a.m. he/she may need a little coaxing. As a personal trainer, well adjusted to the early hour, I don't want to appear too energetic before dawn. But I do arise extra early to be prepared, alert and ready for my job.

But with a gentle warm-up and a conversation that softens the break of dawn, it works.

Lately, with the addition of a Circuit Training class, it has brought the term "play" to a new light.

Classes began in the summer and in the advent of Fall have blossomed into a very fun group of women who appear to enjoy the interactions, the group accountability and the play. From individual exercises the class has grown to allow partnering exercises.

When I watch people throwing medicine balls to one another, jump on the trampoline and ride the spinning bike without a seat, I once again am reminded that playing is fun.

Kaiser Permanente ads asks us, "When did you stop playing?"

Well, when you stop playing, you stop interacting and you cease to be able to laugh at yourself.

Now that will really make one grow old fast!

So, I suggest we all take time in our day to play - whether that be with the kids, with the grandchildren, our partners or with any others our own age.

It's good for the body. It's uplifting for the spirit. It warms the soul.

Improving Kids' Nutrition

These are some suggestions on improving your childrens' eating habits:

1. Make it fun. Garden with children. Take them to the local farmer's market. Include them in meal preparation. This gives them a sense of "ownership" over their diet, says Jennifer Shu, M.D. author of "Food Fights". The more they are involved, the more they'll eat what is in front of them.

2. Lead by example: If your children see you eating candy when telling them to eat their vegetables, they will tune you out.

3. Teach moderation: Instead of forbidding foods like ice cream or cookies, teach your children how to eat them in moderation and savor every bite.

4. Eat the rainbow: Hang a color wheel on the frig and ask the kids, "did we eat something from nature in all of these color groups today?" suggests Ashley Koff, R.D.

5. Don't give up: Expose your children to new foods over and over. Continue to serve food that has been previously rejected. Often the veggie they "hated" last month becomes their new favorite food next month.

Combatting Stress

HOW TO RELAX: Set aside just ten minutes daily to unwind. Whether it be reading a book, sitting quietly or knitting, it invokes the "relaxation response". Cortisol levels decrease and the effects of chronic stress, like high blood pressure and sluggish metabolism are neutralized. You can actually use your mind to heal your body.

It's important to find a quiet place within yourself. It requires intention and focus. This way distractions -- of which we have many in today's society -- fade away. It takes us out of "fight or flight" mode.

FOODS THAT COMBAT STRESS: Sesame or sunflower seeds are a good source of zinc and Vitamin B, which help to maintain the health of the adrenal glands. All you need is one serving or 1/4 cup daily.

Garlic, studies have shown, may boost moods as well as help lower blood pressure. One to two cloves daily are prescribed.

Cucumbers are a mineral-rich food. They cleanse the liver and in turn allow the body to balance hormone levels. One-half cup daily will do the job.

A little "slice" of sustainability

It was Saturday night when my daughter called to say she was doing a cooking demo Sunday at the Lents International Farmer's Market.

I didn't have plans until 3:30 p.m. today, so I thought I might head over.

I have become somewhat familiar with the Lents area as I travel there weekly to my business/marketing meeting. I was familiar with many farmer's markets but not this one. And it's always good, I thought to myself, to support neighborhood happenings and spend locally. I am always good at "stimulating the economy."

I left NE Portland with $12 in my wallet.

I arrived back home two hours later with my arms and my mind full. Hence, the blog.

During the time spend there, I sampled zuccini fritters with dill yogurt sauce.
This recipe was inspired by a Greek restaurant in NYC.

I tasted a chicken tamale from a booth run by two Mexican-American women and some coconut milk cookies from a booth with Hawaiian-inspired foods.

I brought home Flavel Fungus Farms oyster mushrooms; organic zuccini, onions, squash blossoms and radishes from a local farm; got some wonderful flowers ($4) and fresh basil ($2) from SE Asian women who run a stand.

When I arrived home, it was a pleasure to wash and trim the veggies and the flowers. I plan on a stir fry tonight combined with some veggies from my own garden. I arranged the flowers into three vases that now adorn the house.

Twelve dollars = lot of joy for a day!

Music and workouts

Research has shown that music motivates you to exercise longer and more often.

Both fit and unfit people tend to show greater endurance and better workout performance when they use some good tunes as exercise partners.

Research has found that overweight to moderately obese to with a mean BMI (body mass index) of 33 who participated in a walking program 3x/wk. for six months, gradually traveled longer, recorded faster times for distance covered and burned more body fat when they listened to music while walking.

Subjects that listened to music were much more likely to stick with the program and lost twice as much weight -- an average of 16 lbs. versus 8 lbs. in the no music group.

They were also motivated to add more days of exercise to their program.

One type of music is not any more inspirational than another. Just choose the music you like. The beat is irrelevant too: it can be anything from upbeat to mellow or something in between.

Science has not yet found a connection to music and how the brain works when it comes to exercise. But study results suggest that music mostly helps by distracting the listener. It blocks thoughts about boredom and pain.

Don't be shy about asking your trainer to play your favorite music during your workout with him/her. With the additions of ipods and internet streaming, it's pretty simple to make the connection with what satisfies your musical needs.



Research attributed to Christopher Capuano, Ph.D., director of the school of psychology @ Fairleigh Dickinson University, Teaneck, N.J.

A Talented Legacy

Lots of deaths this week. In addition to some loss this week in our circle of friends, there was Farrah Fawcett, Jeff Goldblum and Ed Mc Mahon.

But yesterday's news of the untimely death of Michael Jackson was a big one.

You undoubtedly have seen the interviews and the replays of all of his music and videos over the past couple of days. They'll continue until there's another major news event.

Jackson was a part of videography from its infancy.

Of most importance for me, though, is what his music means.

He sang with soul; he was a genius at blending Motown (which I grew up with) with rock; some of his songs have social meaning; he provided escapism and joy; he brought dance and music together with such talent; he had a good heart.

But, primarily, for me, whose job has been heavily dependent upon music, he is quite memorable. Along with the launch of his albums "Bad" and Thriller", there was a launch in style. As aerobic instructors, we were gifted some pretty incredible music to teach to. And good music was pretty difficult to find. The beats were important. The message was important. But the motivating, upbeat sound was key.

Music was and still is in many cases critical to the success of a great cardio workout. We had Talking Heads, Devo, Level 42, Aretha Franklin, Eurythmics and Madonna, to name a few.

So, in the midst of all of the media mayhem, I chose, as a personal trainer, to play Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits in the gym today. Clients responded with where they were when some of the songs/albums were released. Some spoke of how he was acquitted of the crimes he was accused of. But it was overwhelmingly positive in remembering him and his music.

All in all, we look back to a career that many of us relate to in some way. We remember the talent, the gifts he had and the childhood he lost.

With his death he can finally rest in peace. It's my hope that we will let him.

Rain, rain go away!

Today and for the entire weekend I have the pleasure to pet sitting for my daughter and her partner's puppy, Quimby. I have been looking forward to it ever since they asked us earlier in the week.

Every afternoon at around 3 p.m. my buddy, Otto, and I head to Normandale dog park. So I was anticipating taking not just one but these two little characters to the park this afternoon.

As of 2 p.m. there have been Biblical-like downpours. So I then had to decide: take them and bathe not one but two muddy dogs when I get home or stay home and let them wrestle. I opted for choice #2.

I realize how much that little park is a part of Otto and my life. The dog varieties are astounding and the 3 p.m. "shift" of park goers provides a whole lot of fun.

It has a little subculture of its own. We discuss everything from movies to dog food brands and harnesses from weekend trips to (touching on) politics.

So here I sit this afternoon at my computer, looking at the rain and these rascals playing tug of war with a stuffless animal.

I will bet there are some hardcore visitors at Normandale. But I'm not one of them.

Mind Over Matter

According to Robert Allen, best-selling author, "No thought lives in your head rent-free."

Think about that one.

T. Harv Eker, in an article written for Success magazine (July 2009), explains well Allen's way of thinking.

You pay for your negative thoughts in money, energy, time, health and happiness. It can actually cost more of all of those than one would at first glance realize.

Eker then explains how you can move to a new level in your life rather quickly. He suggests we divide our thoughts into two categories: empowering and disempowering. "Observe them, and determine if they are supporting your happiness and success. Choose to entertain only the empowering thoughts.....I call this process 'power thinking'."

He is convincing when he explains that humans are creatures of habit. We have to practice. He suggests practicing getting out of our comfort zones....talk to someone you may normally avoid or try something that scares you.

"Living a mediocre life does not lead to happiness. What does lead to happiness is living in our natural state of growth and reaching our full potential."

I couldn't agree more.

Carrot Ginger Saute - great source of Vitamin A!

The sweetness of the organic carrots in this dish contrasts nicely with the warm spiciness of the ginger.


Six servings.

1T. olive oil
1/2 c. sliced onion
2 T. minced fresh ginger
1 lb. peeled carrots, sliced on the bias
1 T. warm water
1/4 t. kosher salt
1/4 t. black or white pepper
1 T. lemon juice
2 T. cilantro, roughly chopped

Heat olive oil in skillet over med. heat. Add onion and saute about 2 min., stirring frequently. Add ginger and cook for an additional min. Add carrots and 1 t. water. Cover and continue cooking for 5 to 7 min. until carrots begin to soften.

Lower heat to med. and add salt, pepper and lemon juice. Cook uncovered for 2 to 3 min. or until most of the liquid is gone. Garnish with cilantro just prior to serving.

Per serving: 53 cal. 2 g. fat, 8 gr. carbs, .8 gr. protein, 2 gr. fiber


If you have leftovers, turn into carrot ginger soup be adding several cups of vegetable broth and mixing in a blender before heating. Add cilantro garnish to each bowl.

Ultimate Detox Salad

The best way to flush toxins isn't a fast or an herbal cleanse, says nutritionist Natalia Rose, author of "Detox for Women"(William Morrow, 2009).

Instead, eat water-rich food like leafy greens and cabbage to fight yeast overgrowth, restore PH balance, and eliminate impurities.

Remember -- organic is best.


LIFE'S A RAINBOW SALAD
Makes 2 - 4 servings

1/2 c. red cabbage
1/2 c, yellow bell pepper, julienne or chopped
1/2 c. carrots shredded
1/2 c. alfalfa sprouts
1 c. mesclun greens or baby lettuce
1/4 c. fresh lemon juice
Stevia to taste
1 t. fresh garlic, diced

Place the greens on a serving plate and arrange the carrots, red cabbage, yellow peppers and sprouts in four circular piles along the top of the plate like a rainbow. Mix lemon juice, stevia and garlic together and drizzle over the top.

This recipe is the courtesy of "Detox for Women" by Natalia Rose. Natural Health magazine, May 2009.

hugs.....go a long way

Upon composing my last blog entry I began to contemplate, "..... dig my grubby little hand deep into the cereal box".

The innocence of childhood. The spirit of excitement with discovery. The passion for each new day. The exuberance with which emotions run. The freedom to say what one pleases. The many lessons that lie ahead. Time moving slowly.

I had the pleasure of visiting with my great niece, Chloe, last weekend. She is the daughter to my firstborn niece who is also my Goddaughter. Her mother, father and big brother, Jack are very special to us. They live close by but we don't see them nearly enough.

No grandchildren for us yet -- just a grandpuppy. So it was a real treat to hold this little two-year-old. Her giggles, her vocabulary and her hugs were delightful.

Sometimes they think you are so funny -- and for no apparent reason. Sometimes they think you look funny -- also for no apparent reason.

She says she likes cottage cheese. She also likes onion tops.

There's really nothing quite like having a child on your lap. They mold into your body with their warm elfish figures. Inevitably (and I guess if you're lucky) they lay their tiny head on your chest.

I got lucky Sat. night.

We'll get to see her for our son's graduation on Sunday. I guess I'll be serving cottage cheese and onion tops.

And maybe I'll get lucky again.

Mmmmm.....there are some simple pleasures life hands you that are cherished.

"Wag More, Bark Less"

Portlanders are known for their bumper stickers. You can idle behind a car at virtually any stop light around the city and get a pretty good feel for what the person in front of you believes.

I personally try to limit my bumper stickers. I have to work at limiting them, though. I like to keep my car looking neat and clean. But I am also a fairly opinionated person. So there is always a "push/pull" within.

I guess you could say I am heavily into quotes. They are posted around my house. I like to gather them to recite at the closure my business meetings. I have them posted in the gym. They help me to live one day at a time. Hopefully they inspire the people around me.

They are gentle, daily reminders of what is good in life. They are little inspirations.

That's why I proudly post one of my stickers, "Wag More, Bark Less".

It's one of my favorites. I first got one out of the box of dog treats I once purchased at my local Trader Joes.

When I discovered it in my dog's box of dog treats, it at once took me back to my childhood days.

When I was a kid, I would always do my best to opt for the box of cereal that contained a "prize." You know, like Cracker Jacks. It made the eating all the more exciting. I would dig my grubby, little hand as deep into the box as it could reach to find the treat in my cereal. Upon first indulgence, it was a challenge I was determined to conquer.

Over this past year my favorite bumper sticker has begun to show wear.

Today, upon strolling N. Mississippi St., I discovered, much to my delight, that Salty's pet store sells this sticker in a variety of colors. It made my day!

So today, Sunday, I took the time to remove my old black and white one and replace it
with a fashionable pink and brown.

Take note.....voice the good before the bad, the positive before the negative, the happy before the sad, the compliment before the criticism, the smile before the frown.

It make so much difference to those around you.

If you try, you could see a difference in your life.

Cheer Up!

In a 34-year-long survey of more than 25,000 people, those that described themselves as very happy were 21 percent more likely to read a newspaper and they watched about 3 hours less television than those that were unhappy. "Happier people are more active and engage their minds and bodies," says John P. Robinson, a professor of sociology at the Univ. of Maryland.

To be even happier: Join a book club. The survey also reports that the happiest people socialize with friends, neighbors and family.

DRINK A WARM BEVERAGE: You are significantly nicer to strangers after just holding a hot drink for 10 sec., according to a 2008 study in the journal "Science." Researchers believe that physical warmth triggers physiological warmth.

EVEN HAPPIER: Sprinkle on spices. Adding cinnamon, nutmeg or cloves to that warm drink -- they have all been studied as natural antidepressants.

FLOAT IN THE TUB: After resting in a salted bath, patients' anxiety and depression were lessened by 1/4, according to a Swedish study published in the "International Journal of Stress Management." Their levels of prolactin, a hormone that contributes to relaxation, rose by as much as 33 percent.

EVEN HAPPIER: Wear ear plugs and an eye mask to achieve full relaxation. Eliminate external stimuli by blocking out all distractions. White noise machines do work!